The Trust You Don't Have
by PaperInkFlowers
Summary: "You got any more of these books?" "Just a couple," Nick hedged. And Renard can feel something inside him twist in pain.


Title: The Trust You Don't Have  
Summary: "You got any more of these books?" "A couple," Nick hedged. And Renard can feel something inside him twist in pain.

A/N: I make no claims of ownership of Grimm and its respective characters. This is not meant to impede anyone on the show their jobs. I'm just thinking and having a conversation in fic form.

~v-^-v-^-v-^-v~ ~v-^-v-^-v-^-v~

Captain Renard handed the tome back to Nick and watched him and Monroe walk out of his office. Shuts down his laptop- pretending that he wasn't watching them go down the hallway to the precinct's exit.

He was done for tonight. Nick had came in just as he was about to close up.

Slides sheets of signed reports into their respective folders. Places unreviewed case files in the paper holder behind him. Goes over the new schedule for his station's transit roster.

Detachedly, he's going over the memory of Nick lying to his face.

That question had been an opening for Nick to tell him about the trailer.

… he's going have to pretend that he doesn't know something about Nick.

Again.

He thought pretending around Nick was done with. Feigning ignorance that he wasn't part of the same world that Nick suddenly found himself in wasn't enjoyable, though he appreciated being able to freely further his own agenda. It was strictly pragmatism that kept him from revealing himself. He wanted Nick's key and he wanted Nick's continual service on the force. Hiding from Nick increased his chances of having both.

… and it was self-preservation. He hadn't been sure if Nick would buckle under the revelation and snap.

Murderers tend to go after the victims they know first.

Nor was he willing to expose himself to provide guidance on the chance that Kessler would decide to eliminate him as a corruptive influence and a threat. There was no one to threaten vengeance on his behalf to dissuade Kessler from killing him.

For a Royal, he was low risk when it came to repercussions.

So even though he lost the ability to spy on Nick it had been a relief that he didn't have to hide himself anymore.

… it was a half-harbored hope that Nick might understand his motives and maybe try to trust him. That they share mutual interests and can benefit from each other's alliance.

He's lucky Nick and Monroe's attention weren't on him at the time.

Because he lost control. He wasn't able to keep his face from twisting in regret and disappointment.

He broke into Kessler's trailer- he knows Nick has more than just 'a couple' of books.

Right then he wondered to what extent would Nick use him for his own purposes.

If one day Nick would approach him under the facade of peace and friendship. Lure him into lowering his defenses by showing concern for his welfare. However honorable his motives may be.

Story of his life. People pretending to welcome him whilst they conspired behind his back with an agenda that conflicted with his interests and status.

He hated that so much.

They made him doubt his judgment…

… made him hope that maybe- just maybe- they could be trusted and cared about him.

Mia was the last time he'll let anyone get to him that way.

Every time it's a sharp reminder to how badly he wanted to lower his walls and believe in the olive branch they offered him.

… he should know better by now.

Still he regrets that he doesn't have Nick's trust.

Knows it's his own fault- he's perfectly aware how he dealt with Nick. So the existence of the trailer was one card he wanted to keep to himself.

… but he can't help feeling as if he's been betrayed.

~v-^-v-^-v-^-v~ ~v-^-v-^-v-^-v~  
Notes: Remember that frown in Volcanalis where Renard was translating the Latin? If I remember right, that's the same look he had walking off the plane to intercept Mia in Over My Dead Body. Been thinking on that expression. Mia also sheds another light on Renard's hit on Eric, since Eric pretty much did the same thing Mia did. Because it's messed up that Renard seems to have killed Eric for pretending to be nice and trying to take Nick (in the sense of taking his property), than killing Eric for kidnapping people and using them to cause murder and mayhem. It's getting harder to think Renard deserves sympathy. Current problems don't count because he brought that on himself. Reaping what you've sown and what not. 


End file.
